Bluff The Listener

May 6, 2017
Originally published on May 31, 2017 12:56 pm
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Paula Poundstone and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. We're back. It's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff The Listener game. If you want to play our games, call 1-888-WAITWAIT.

Hey, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

MARK ISHAM: Hey, this is Mark Isham from Elizabethtown, Ky.

SAGAL: Mark Isham from Elizabethtown, Ky. Isn't there a famous musician named Mark Isham?

ISHAM: (Laughter) Yes, there is. And I have actually been confused for him a couple of times. He's got more talent than I do.

SAGAL: Well, you have a - he probably doesn't have your excellent baritone voice. So maybe you're even.

ISHAM: (Laughter) I don't know.

SAGAL: Well, Mark, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you must tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Mark's topic?

KURTIS: Indianapolis, here we come.

SAGAL: Paris, Milan, Venice, Indianapolis - all those cities have vowels in their names.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And while Indianapolis might not have the exotic cachet of those older cities, this week we read about a new tourist attraction in Indianapolis that will soon be bringing people there in droves. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, you'll win our prize, the voice of Carl Kasell. Are you ready to play?

ISHAM: I am ready to play.

SAGAL: First, let's hear from Luke Burbank.

LUKE BURBANK: South Dakota has Mt. Rushmore. New York has Niagara Falls. And now Tom Battista says it's finally time for Indianapolis to let the tourists of the world in on one of its natural wonders - the small triangle of grass where the I-65 and I-70 freeways meet.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That's right, Battista recently got final approval to open something called The Idle - A Point of View, which will feature chairs and a sunshade designed for watching the freeway traffic as it goes by.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Battista says he got the idea five years ago while walking along the freeway, which, it should be noted, is almost never a sign things are going great in your life.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: He says the spot will soon become a hot tourist attraction because of how relaxing it is to watch other people battle traffic when you are not actually in it. And if there's one thing Battista knows about it's relaxing since for the last 25 years his day job has been as stage manager for the singer Jimmy Buffett.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: No word yet on if Buffett plans to write any songs about how he wishes he could just be sitting carefree by the side of two major freeways. But if he does, there's a solid chance it will soon be the favorite song of your mom's new husband, Gary.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The Idle, a peaceful spot where you can sit and watch the traffic go by on two major interstates. Your next story of something exciting in Indianapolis comes from Roxanne Roberts.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: The latest jewel of Indianapolis's cultural scene is the Karen Pence towel charm museum, an homage to the second lady and her now shuttered business. Until last year, Pence sold her $6.25 charms - like wine charms but for towels - to use in the bathroom or beach, thus avoiding the horror of using somebody else's towels.

Now, Rebecca Hardy (ph), a fan of both Pence and her husband, has transformed a former adult video store into a showcase for Pence and her designs. Quote, "she's an artist, an entrepreneur and an inspiration," Hardy told the Indianapolis Star. I want every little girl who walks in here to think, what can be my invention, my towel charm?

Hardy, who owns the dog grooming shop next door, has photos of Pence in the small space, the towel charms in glass showcases and beach towels with charms hanging from the ceiling, including some of Pence's own personal favorites - the hip-hop icon charm's with Biggie and Tupac, but not on the same towel.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: The UFC Fighter series with Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar. And ferrets.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Pence couldn't make the grand opening last month, but her second cousin cut the ribbon and Hardy is convinced the second lady will be in soon. Quote, "she's my lucky charm," Hardy told the paper.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The Karen Pence towel charm museum. Your last story of a new reason to visit the capital of Indiana comes from Paula Poundstone.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Are your kids refusing another dusty summer having their faces painted at day camp? Already done Disneyland? Well, now there's a new can't-miss tourist destination, the Indianapolis women's prisoner talent show.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Elysa Gardner of USA Today says, one of the best theater experiences of my life. It would be a crime not to see it. The show opens with a raucous version of "Jailhouse Rock" which could knock your socks off, although if it did that would be another assault charge for each of the inmates in the machine shop that performed it. Juanita Hernandez (ph) stole the show, which is her pattern...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...Juggling three toilet paper rolls, two ramen noodle packages and a ball and chain. Repeat offender Janice Stelmets (ph) introduced only under her stage name, again, gave a carefully choreographed demonstration of counterfeit money design, set to the song "My Way." Admission is free, but it's $50 per ticketholder to get out.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Let's review your choices, Mark. You're going to Indianapolis because everybody wants to go to Indianapolis and you finally make it. One of these three things is something you can really go to. Is it, from Luke Burbank, The Idle, a little spot of grass where you can sit and watch the traffic go by at two intersecting interstates; from Roxanne Roberts, the Karen Pence towel charm museum to see Karen Pence's, the former first lady of Indiana, her great work in the towel charm field; or from Paula Poundstone, the talent show at the Indiana women's prison? Which of these?

POUNDSTONE: I think it's that.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Which of these is something you can actually visit soon in Indianapolis, Ind.?

ISHAM: I would love to see the women's prison talent show, but I'm going to go with the Pence towel charm museum.

SAGAL: You're going to go with the Pence towel charm museum.

ISHAM: I think that's it.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, well, we spoke to the person behind this remarkable new attraction in Indianapolis.

TOM BATTISTA: Since we don't have any raging rivers or mountains to look at, we thought, what about a viewing stand to watch the river of cars?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was, in fact, Tom Battista, the mastermind behind The Idle, which was - just got clearance to open in Indianapolis. Yeah, we didn't believe it either.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's why it's here. So I'm sorry, Mark, that you did not win. You earned a point for Roxanne for being devious, which I know she enjoys. So thank you so much for playing.

POUNDSTONE: Thanks, Mark.

ISHAM: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "INDIANA")

DAVID MEAD: (Singing) Indiana's the wrong place to be stuck in a car. But I'm the king of the highway, baby. Let me conquer your heart. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.