GLYNN WASHINGTON, HOST:
So we're going to start off today noting a very special type of courage. SNAP JUDGMENT's Anna Sussman spoke to Eileen O'Toole to learn her story of faith, of hope and of gratitude - SNAP JUDGMENT.
O'TOOLE: I was very involved with my parish and I went to Catholic school.
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UNIDENTIFIED GIRL: Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
ANNA SUSSMAN, BYLINE: It was the mid-1940s in an Irish neighborhood of Brooklyn, and little Eileen O'Toole was an obedient Catholic schoolgirl.
O'TOOLE: And our whole neighborhood was very Catholic.
SUSSMAN: There were a few exceptions, like the family who owned the candy store down the block.
O'TOOLE: There was a Jewish family - two Jewish little boys, same age as I, whose parents owned a candy store. I would go there
every day and buy a little bit of candy on the way back to school after lunch. And it was Stan and Isaac - Isaac wrote the most science books in the world and Stan became the editor of Newsday.
SUSSMAN: So she would see Isaac Asimov, the future science fiction author, and his brother Stan, the future editor of Newsday, but in general, Catholics were her world. And there was a heavy weight on her young shoulders to devote her life to God. If she did become a nun, her parents and the whole neighborhood would be proud, and they would be set not only in this life, but forever.
O'TOOLE: I really think that they thought that was their entrance into heaven if they gave one of their children to God. I thought why not give it a try? Maybe I would like it.
SUSSMAN: So Eileen gave it a try. She decided to become a nun. Her little Brooklyn neighborhood, her mom and dad, they rejoiced. And then the morning came for her to go to the convent, and for the first time she began to think about herself.
O'TOOLE: And I walked out of my room and I was trembling. Why am I doing this? How did I get myself into this situation? And all my relatives were there to say goodbye and the priest who was helping me put me into the car right away. And the car took off and I was on my way.
SUSSMAN: Walking into the convent, she comforted herself with the hope that it would only be for a short time, that she could leave when she wanted to.
O'TOOLE: When I first entered, I thought that I could just walk out. They held onto us and they watched every move. We were out in the country and there was no way that we could go anywhere. At night, I used to hear the Long Island Rail Road horn blow, and, I tell you, going to bed at night I would cry my eyes out. I just wanted to get on that train.
SUSSMAN: And then something in her snapped, and after prayers one afternoon, Eileen took off.
O'TOOLE: I said to myself I'm out of here. And I didn't know that they could see me from the window where they were watching us. I remember holding up my skirt, running up that long, long road. And I nearly made it to the gate, but then the car came and got me and told me to come back.
SUSSMAN: Two nuns motioned for her to get in the car and they drove her back up the hill. For four years, Eileen lived under the vigilant eyes of the superior nuns in the stony, regimented motherhouse. And she was finally assigned to a church in New York City. This could be her chance to escape.
O'TOOLE: I was assigned to Bedford-Stuyvesant. It was really very, very poor and very tough.
SUSSMAN: Eileen was told that she would work directly under the mother superior, Sister Anna Germaine. She was nervous.
O'TOOLE: So I went up the stairs and there is this woman sitting in a leather lounge chair, which was totally forbidden. You had to sit on a straight chair all the time, and she had the nicest smile. And she welcomed me and said welcome dear, now you make yourself at home. And I was just taken back because, usually, they were just giving orders to you - go downstairs, do this, do that. She was so nice. So that was my first meeting with Sister Anna Germaine.
SUSSMAN: And Sister Anna had her own philosophy - do what you need to do to help the poor. Don't worry about the rules.
O'TOOLE: She said now, tomorrow, I want you to go to this house, but you're not to tell anybody else that I'm sending you there. Make believe you're going for rolls to the local bakery and bring food to this house or bring money to this house. And I was her feet. And my main job was to walk the streets after teaching and help the poor.
SUSSMAN: It was technically against the rules for Eileen to leave the convent alone, but she was out there every day doing Sister Anna's work.
O'TOOLE: One of my first remembrances is that of a beautiful lady. I think she was a Spanish mother with about four children. She was on welfare and she told me that the welfare person would come to the house - the man - and he said unless you give me the favors of your body I won't give you the welfare check. I just told Sister - I said I have to be there every Wednesday so when he comes he sees me standing right next to her, and then he'll give her the check. And that was one of the first things I did that was definitely against the rule.
SUSSMAN: Breaking the rules became kind of a game. Like, when Eileen noticed that the kids in her classroom didn't have the shoes they needed for their confirmation, she knew just where to find the funds she needed.
O'TOOLE: I said to the mothers don't worry, don't worry. I will buy them for you. I said I know where the money is from the Sunday collections and I'm going to run in and grab money for these shoes. So I grabbed a bunch of money and I said to the kids follow me like Pied Piper down the avenue. We were all holding hands and I went into the shoe store and I said outfit these children and with shoes and socks. And then I told Sister Anna what I did and she laughed. She thought that was funny, but I had money left over so she said give them a party. You can't put the money back in the basket.
SUSSMAN: Under Sister Anna, Eileen didn't want to run.
O'TOOLE: What an eye-opening - I felt so good about the things that I was doing.
SUSSMAN: But Sister Anna was getting older. One day, she fell ill and she was taken to the hospital and she never came back to the convent. Eileen was transferred to a wealthy parish in Long Island.
O'TOOLE: And everything was rules and regulations. I remember a superior telling me you enter the convent to take care of the nuns. You didn't enter the convent to take care of people or the poor. I was so upset. I didn't know what to do and all I could think of was get out of the convent, and I went to Montauk. Montauk Point is the farthest end of Long Island and you climb up the cliffs and you see the ocean, the wild ocean. I had a veil on and, you know, my habit, and I climbed up to the top of the cliffs and I said I am really not happy. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want this to be my life. And I looked out at the ocean. It was hitting against the point. And out on the horizon it was calm. And I'll never forget the feeling. I went oh, my gosh. Look how call calm. God is telling me that's OK. You'll be calm. You could do it. Everything will be all right. That's the moment I made up my mind.
SUSSMAN: She always thought she might not last in the convent and now she was sure she was going to break her vows.
O'TOOLE: You can't leave the convent unless have a dispensation from your vows and that's a serious, serious thing to break your vows against God. So what holy nun wants to break her vows against God? Well, then I had to go back and tell people, and that was tough.
SUSSMAN: It wasn't just her vow she was breaking. She was going to let down the whole family, most of all her mother. She went home for a family dinner to break the news and hoped they'd be understanding.
O'TOOLE: My sisters wouldn't tell her. They were afraid my mother would have a heart attack. I say, mom, I'm really unhappy and she just froze. She was standing at the sink and I say I want to leave the convent. She said leave this house. I don't want to see you again. That moment was horrific, just terrible, and it went down from there.
SUSSMAN: Her family stopped talking to her. She had nothing that she needed to live on her own - no money, no job, no place to live. Her head was shaved. She had only her nun's clothing. And then help began to appear.
O'TOOLE: If you want to know how God took to care of me, I cannot believe it how it really happened. First of all, I had no clothes.
SUSSMAN: She met an older couple who would take her out for dinner. They loved nuns and they saw that Eileen was a good person, so she let them in on her hopes of escape.
O'TOOLE: I call them my angels. That older couple, they owned a woman's dress shop. They had clothes in their car as samples. They gave me 12 outfits.
SUSSMAN: Then she was interviewed by Newsday about her charity work. And after the interview, Eileen confessed her plan to the journalist and explained that she still had no job and no money.
O'TOOLE: She goes home and she tells her editor. He was Stan Asimov, the fellow I grew up with.
SUSSMAN: The editor, Stan Asimov, said he knew Eileen.
O'TOOLE: He said I'm the little Jewish boy who lived across the street from you and we grew up together. I could not believe it.
SUSSMAN: He promised her a job at Newsday.
O'TOOLE: He said when you leave, come to the personnel sign and the job is waiting.
SUSSMAN: So early one morning when no one was looking, Eileen stepped out of the convent with $80 in her pocket and boarded a bus to New York City.
O'TOOLE: And I was in full, you know, nun regalia and I got on that bus and I went into - I think it was Grand Central Station. And I went to - I think it was a movie house, and I changed. I took off my nun habit, put on clothes, then I stayed and watched a movie.
SUSSMAN: Eileen took the job at Newsday. Eventually, she went back to teaching. She rented a sparsely furnished apartment and got married and had a daughter. She still goes to church and when the collection basket comes around, she thinks about what Sister Anna would do.
O'TOOLE: I don't always like to give in church, as my husband knows, because I gave my life, but what I do is I'll just give a $20 bill to somebody here or there or wherever. I just think that, you know, faith is a great thing in all religions and kindness to others and that's the way I feel in life.
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WASHINGTON: Big thanks to Eileen O'Toole for sharing her story with SNAP. You can find out more about Eileen's story and her book, "At Sister Anna's Feet," on our website, snapjudgment.org. Of course, that piece was produced by none other than our own Anna Sussman. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.